


Broken Rules

by stillove



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, F/F, Light Angst, Romance, Seulrene, seulreneau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillove/pseuds/stillove
Summary: Seulgi struggles with the repercussions of a naked and hungover awakening in Joohyun's bed.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

The last thing Seulgi wanted was to be awake.

The twenty-six-year-old laid motionless in bed, settled on her right side with her legs tucked to her core. Already consicous, she refused to open her heavy lids in a desperate attempt to fall back asleep—her solution to the discomfort inundating her body. 

Unfortunately, the growing awareness of her uneasy stomach and hoarse throat made the task impossible.

Seulgi wasn’t an irresponsible drinker. She didn’t like the indistinguishable memories that came with heavy drinking, nor did she enjoy the atrocious effects the morning after. Rather, she had learned to appreciate alcohol. Her habits mainly consisted of sipping on a beer with a meal or sharing a few bottles of soju with her friends, but last night, something must have coerced her to consume more than she could take—something that slipped her memory.

The previous night was a blur and Seulgi failed to recall anything beyond the bitterness of her first shot.

Nothing in Seulgi's memory seemed out of the ordinary. With few group activities scheduled ahead, most of Red Velvet's members had left the dorm to visit their families. Joohyun was the only one that stayed behind and because Seulgi was nearby for a photoshoot, she decided to have dinner with her group member before returning to her parents' house.

As planned, Seulgi joined Joohyun at their apartment after her schedule. There, she washed off the remains of her long day, then she and Joohyun ordered delivery, electing to accompany their meals with the soju at home.

That was the extent of what she could remember—eating and drinking to a movie in the living room.

It was in Seulgi’s lack of memory that the oddities began—the strangest being how and why she had so much to drink. Her current hangover wasn’t her worst, for which she was grateful no vomiting was involved, but she was still sore and nauseated all over. It made no sense. She was supposed to spend a nice, relaxing night with Joohyun. She had no intention of drinking more than enough to generate a comfortable buzz, yet here she laid, suffering the aftermath of what was evidently one too many shots.

Seulgi let out a sigh. Whatever it was, her aching brain didn’t have the energy to think about it for long. She needed to chug a glass of water much more than she cared to figure out last night’s events.

Still huddled underneath the bed covers, Seulgi stretched out her limbs as far as they could reach. Cool air collided against her bare arms, causing goosebumps to parade her skin. Rolling onto her back, she let out a string of indiscernible whines and dropped her arms to her sides. She then let her pounding head rest in the pool of her unusually plump pillow before finally setlling on her left side. A hefty yawn escaped her lips just as she was about to force herself up.

All of a sudden, it hit her.

She had just rotated from her right, all the way to her left, in one large motion. There was no awkward body shifting or blanket tugging, and even more peculiar, there was no crashing face-first onto the ground—something that certainly would have happened if she were to roll like she just had in her tiny twin-sized bed.

Her eyes shot open. They bulged out below her creased brows, meeting a sun-lit ceiling then darting back and forth against four white walls. Confusion wriggled its way into her system, but with a little more processing, her tense features eased and she let out a soft, alleviated exhale. 

As expected, the room wasn’t hers. It was much more spacious and sophisticated than her own cramped utility room. Luckily, it wasn’t unfamiliar either. Relief quickly overshadowed the dread of waking up in a stranger’s bed once Seulgi realized she was occupying Joohyun’s fifth of the dorm.

Knowing she was in the familiarity of her group’s apartment meant the worst she had to endure was her raging hangover, and possibly Joohyun’s incessant teasing.

Speaking of her group member, she was nowhere to be seen. Seulgi squinted at the digital clock by her side, reading 14:36. She then shuffled to the edge of the mattress intending to mend her physical state and find Joohyun, but she found herself hesitating before getting out of bed.

Something wasn’t right.

It was odd, given how she put on a long-sleeve pyjama set before dinner, how closely the bedsheets brushed against her arms and legs. It was as if the fabric of her clothes didn’t exist—as if she was naked.

Then it hit her again.

Seulgi flung herself upright and hurled the comforter off her body with one hand. She sat petrified, eyes wide and heart pumping as she stared down at not only her exposed limbs but also her exposed torso and her exposed—

“Oh my god,” she muttered as her arms crossed in front of her bare chest.

Unlike her first realization of the day, panic and confusion swallowed her whole.

For Seulgi, waking up in Joohyun’s bed was uncommon, but not unthinkable. There were rare occasions where the two would accidentally fall asleep while hanging out, and there were even rarer occasions where they would choose to have sleepovers, sometimes for old time’s sake, sometimes for the fun of it.

Waking up in Joohyun’s bed with no recollection and no clothes—only the remnants of an unduly drunken night—however, was a whole new level of absurdity.

Seulgi desperately whipped her head around in search of anything to conceal her nude body with. As soon as she spotted her cotton pyjama shirt on the ground, she dashed onto her feet and swung her arms through its sleeves. As she struggled to button up her top, she frantically shuffled around to find her bottoms. In the midst of her chaotic hunt, she tripped forward. Fortunately, her reflexes were sharp enough to shoot a hand out, stopping her momentum before crashing into Joohyun’s dresser.

While regaining her balance, she took a moment to slow down. She inhaled a deep breath and pressed her palms against her throbbing temples—a result of both the alcohol and waking up in her group member’s bed butt-naked.

Soon, the questions surged in all at once. Why did she drink so much? Why wasn’t she wearing any clothes? What did she and Joohyun do? Where was Joohyun now? Was she okay?

Seulgi’s heart raced as her thoughts circled back to one broader question—a question she feared she already knew the answer to.

_What the hell happened last night?_

-

In Seulgi’s distraught state, running into Joohyun adopted the title of her biggest fear. 

It took her ten minutes of useless mooting before she found the courage to flee into the laundry room, though, it wasn’t quite courage and more the realization she was home alone. Joohyun had told her about her new acting lessons, including what time they took place, but Seulgi was too busy freaking out to remember the fact right away.

After sliding on a clean pair of shorts, she trudged into the kitchen to satisfy her body's desperate pleas for hydration. She swallowed a painkiller then downed a cup full of water in seconds. As the fluid settled in her unstable stomach, she leaned forward onto her hands and shut her eyes, standing in place for a minute as her head spun. 

She then elected to search for her missing phone as her next course of action. She reluctantly pulled away from her position in the kitchen and stepped into the living room. 

Seulgi cringed at the sight she was greeted with. Her and Joohyun’s leftovers, along with vacant bottles of soju and other random misplaced objects, were sprawled across the coffee table and floor. Her gaze then fell on the couch where her phone laid faced down.

Before grabbing her phone, Seulgi pursed her lips in thought. To start, Joohyun must have rushed out of the apartment earlier in the day. Knowing the older girl, she wouldn’t have left the living room in its current state had she had the time to tidy up. 

Second, because it was one of Red Velvet’s dorm rules to clean up after themselves in their shared spaces, the longer Seulgi looked at the trashed area, the more she figured she might as well get it over with before showering. She would never want to leave it for Joohyun to deal with anyway, so she let out a deep huff and got to work.

She started by collecting the soju bottles. After gathering them all, she frowned. There were only four. This puzzled her because from experience, that amount of alcohol shared with another person shouldn’t have been able to induce a hangover at all. She briefly checked under the furniture to ensure she hadn’t missed anything, but no other bottles were found.

Did Joohyun even drink? 

Shaking off the confusion, Seulgi focused on the task at hand. With a few more sluggish trips around the apartment, she continued throwing things out, putting things away, and wiping things down. It wasn’t long before the living room was spotless. 

Pleased with the cleanliness of the space, she slumped onto the couch, finally picking up her phone in hopes it was still alive. Her eyes stung as the screen lit up at full brightness. She dimmed it down before scrolling through her notifications.

One missed call and two texts from her dad.

A few texts in both the Red Velvet chat and the Egg Yolk chat.

And lastly, a single text from Joohyun.

Seulgi’s breath stopped mid inhale.

_Messages 2h ago_

**Baechu Unnie** ✨🐰❤️

We need to talk.

Seulgi's body tensed. She stared at the notification as her thumb hovered above it. Taking long breaths, she attempted to soothe her nerves, but the restlessness continued to swell.

She had a bad feeling about this.

It was obvious Joohyun was referring to forgotten events from the previous night. Nevertheless, Seulgi persisted in considering the reasons for the text’s existence. Maybe, in a weirdly serious way, Joohyun wanted to talk about the movie they watched, or maybe she wanted to ask to have dinner again. If not that, then maybe Joohyun just wanted to scold her for getting so drunk—not for an incident between them that led her to wake up in the older girl’s bed undressed.

Seulgi pursed her lips and sighed. It was no use. Thinking of anything that involved her group member was too troubling, so she moved her thumb up the screen and settled on calling her dad back first.

Within a few rings, he picked up.

_“Princess!”_

“Hi, Dad,” Seulgi said, disinterested. “Why did you call?”

_“Is something wrong? You don’t sound too happy to be talking to me.”_

“Oh, it's nothing. I just uh, don’t have much energy right now.”

_“The photoshoot must’ve been tiring.”_

“I guess so.”

_“Well, I wanted to ask, what time are you coming home? Did you eat? Mom can make some stew for you if you're not feeling well.”_

“I’m not sure yet. I need to clean a few things up at the dorm so I probably won’t be there until the evening. I’ll be home for dinner though.”

_“Okay, I’ll see you later. Dad loves you. Take care.”_

“Love you too. Bye.”

Seulgi lowered her phone and ended the call. The conversation with her dad wasn’t nearly enough to distract from Joohyun. Her eyes landed on her faint reflection in the dark television screen, but her thoughts travelled back to the situation with her group member—specifically, how she was coping with it.

Denial and rationalization. 

Seulgi wasn’t a fool. She knew there was one distinct possibility as to what led to her naked awakening, but she wasn’t going to believe it—not when she couldn’t even remember it. Instead, she used the advantage of her ignorance to determine an explanation that benefited her sanity.

She convinced herself things had played out like this; she and Joohyun decided they wanted to keep drinking after finishing all the soju at home. Joohyun ordered four more bottles for delivery and they threw out the empty ones in the building’s recycling area. Once the order arrived, Seulgi ended up doing most of the drinking since Joohyun had commitments the next day. Eventually, she became too drunk and went to bed, but since her senses were so disordered, she somehow ended up in Joohyun’s room, falling asleep after recklessly stripping herself since alcohol always made her really hot. As for Joohyun, she slept somewhere else in the dorm.

Emphasis on that last part.

The story was satisfactory, to say the least. It was extensive in some areas, vague in others, and certain details may not have added up, but it made enough sense to keep Seulgi from going crazy. Without it, she would have broken down in tears much earlier.

In reality, the truth terrified Seulgi. The first thing that had flashed in her mind when she discovered her fully nude body was something horrific—something she refused to consider twice. She needed to believe in her own interpretation of things because if the truth came anywhere close to that something, she wouldn't know how to live.

Until her mind cleared up, or at least until her headache faded away, Seulgi was going to avoid everything that could foil her version of last night’s events, including Joohyun herself.

-

Seulgi assumed she was done cleaning messes for the day—physical ones, at least—but as soon as she pushed open the door to her room, she stood corrected.

After a little procrastinating on the couch, she forced herself onto her feet to wash up. The grime of her hangover soiled her body inside-out. A long, hot shower was necessary.

She plugged her phone into the charger by the television and headed to the hallway where her wardrobe resided. She picked out an oversized t-shirt and black sweatpants, then, in need of undergarments, she proceeded to her room.

The moment her eyes met its interior, they burst open. She dropped the outfit in her arms and ran straight inside. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” she said, panicked as she removed her fluffy white blanket from a pool of murky water. She held it up high and grimaced as droplets drizzled from its fur onto the ground. She then chucked it out the door, deciding to deal with it later.

It wasn't the only travesty visible.

Her mouth hung low as she inspected the rest of the room. It always tended to look cluttered since it was so little, but in its current state, she could barely make out the hardwood flooring underneath all the chaos. 

Apparently, she and Joohyun had attempted a paint by numbers kit. Lounging on the ground next to her mattress was a half-completed canvas, unlidded paint pots, two paintbrushes, and worst of all, a tall plastic cup on its side—the culprit of the muddy liquid that had tainted her precious blanket.

Adjacent to the paint supplies was the root of Seulgi’s hangover. Two shot glasses, three more empty soju bottles, and the large bottle of imported vodka that had sat untouched in Red Velvet’s dorm for years, except now, half of it was gone.

Seulgi rubbed at her sore eyes with her thumb and index finger. The mess didn't stop there.

Her bedside table had been knocked over. All the books and trinkets displayed atop it had slid off into a sloppy heap. Across the room, her vanity had also been disrupted. The makeup collection she had spent a great deal of effort in organizing was scattered all across the drawer’s surface, some items having rolled onto the floor.

Nothing was in order. Even the items that withstood the force that had ravaged her room seemed to have been tousled slightly. It was like everything had, at the very least, been bumped into.

Shocked at the condition of her belongings, Seulgi dove onto her ruffled mattress and laid lifeless, wishing everything could fix itself with the snap of a finger. She basked in self-pity for a moment, but ultimately pushed herself upright. She positioned herself at the foot of her mattress and peered around the room another time, debating which wreck to conquer first.

Just as she thought she thought she registered the extent of the mess though, her body stiffened when her eyes landed below her vanity—an area that had been obstructed from her view while standing.

The matching bottoms to her pyjama top and her nude thong were tossed by the base of the wall. Next to it, was another purple pile, and peeking out from underneath that, was a small piece of pink lace fabric.

Seulgi swallowed a heavy gulp.

Those were Joohyun’s purple pyjamas.

And that was Joohyun’s pink underwear.

It couldn’t have been anyone else’s.

Abruptly, Seulgi hurried onto her feet and rushed to her drawer, grabbing the first bra and panties she could get her hands on. With no hesitation, she ran out of her room, snagged the clothes she had dropped earlier, and raced to the bathroom. Once inside, she threw her clothes to the floor and raised her right palm against the surface of the door at eye level, ferociously slamming it shut.

Seulgi lingered in place. She leaned her forehead against the back of her hand and closed her eyes, softly shaking her head left and right. 

“No,” she choked. Her breath wavered as the word left her mouth.

Out of nowhere, her stomach began to churn. She lifted her free palm over her lips. She didn't know if it was the hangover or if it was Joohyun making her heave, but regardless, she forced it down. Throwing up was not an option.

_You didn’t see that. Your story still makes sense. Just take your shower then get the hell out of here. Everything is normal. Everything is okay._

With a few more deep breaths, Seulgi mustered up enough strength to stand straight and start unbuttoning her shirt. 

It was simple. For now, all she had to do to keep herself from falling apart was to pretend that nothing she had encountered was unusual in any way. She was going to take her much needed shower then blast to her parents’ house before she could find anything else in the Joohyun-infested dorm that would cause her more doubt. What to do after that, she'd figure out later. Hopfeully her family would be enough to distract from her group member for the time being.

Of course, the plan was rash, but Seulgi was willing to do anything to avoid confronting the truth.

It was a shame it failed less than a minute after it started.

Maybe it would have worked if Seulgi hadn't been facing the bathroom mirror, but she was staring directly at her reflection as she got undressed. The moment her top slipped off her shoulders, her eyes darted to a sight that caused her gut to sink.

Trembling, she delicately dragged her fingertips along the side of her neck, down to the top of her left collarbone—two areas on her body only visible with the help of a mirror.

Underneath her touch laid a path of red and purple marks.

Bruises. 

_Hickeys._

Seulgi’s heart skyrocketed, her knees grew weak, and everything threatened to spew from her stomach. Just as she feared, the truth settled in.

She had sex with Joohyun last night—and she couldn’t remember any of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Seulgi didn’t like breaking the rules, but the few times she did break them, it just happened to be that Joohyun was always somehow involved.

During their trainee days, it was Joohyun that would convince Seulgi to lie to their supervisors about going out to exercise when really, they would leave to eat ramen. Then, as freshly debuted idols, it was Joohyun that would convince Seulgi to stay out past their curfews so they could extend the little free time they had together.

Seulgi worried, but she never argued against it.

Now that Red Velvet was older, diet restrictions, curfews, and all those foolish little rules didn’t exist anymore. All that remained were the important ones—the ones that _had_ to be followed in order to keep Red Velvet alive.

Seulgi’s night of drunken sex with Joohyun broke two of them.

The first was the key element in keeping Red Velvet’s bond strong; the members were required to talk and work out any issues _before_ resentment built or fights ensued.

Though everyone got along well, conflicts were bound to emerge in all their extensive years of training, performing, and living together. Communication was necessary to keep their relationships amicable. After all, as not only friends but also business partners with a contract to abide by, they were stuck with each other whether they liked it or not.

Seulgi excelled at following this rule. With her open-minded and easy-going personality, she was never the one to initiate an argument and she was rarely the reason why one began in the first place.

Because of this, it would have been completely out of her character to ignore Joohyun’s persistent attempts to talk after their drunken night. Except, that was exactly what she decided to do.

The second rule existed between Seulgi and Joohyun exclusively.

The thing about Joohyun was that Seulgi didn’t think about her or look at her the same as she did with her other members. If that was the case, the idea of sleeping with her would have been revolting—even if she was drunk out of her mind.

Seulgi didn’t know when it started, but something deeper lied beneath her friendship with Joohyun. She knew Joohyun was aware of it too, but while it was a mutual understanding, it was always left unacknowledged. Given their circumstances, an unspoken rule had established itself; for as long as Red Velvet existed, they were not to speak or act upon their feelings.

It was an unfortunate policy, but Seulgi didn’t mind it—or maybe she did and she just convinced herself otherwise. Either way, Red Velvet and its fans were the most important thing to her. It wasn’t like her and Joohyun’s dynamic had changed either. She was happy as long as all five members of the group were happy as Red Velvet.

What didn’t cross her mind, was that all those years of pent up feelings could lead to something like sleeping with Joohyun after getting outright plastered.

Sex with Joohyun?

The thought was so outrageous, it was almost comical.

But it happened.

It was also a clear violation of the rule, and the fact that Seulgi was too intoxicated to remember anything made it all the more regrettable.

For this reason, Seulgi chose to ignore Joohyun. Talking to Joohyun meant she was going to have to face the possibility of their relationship changing for the worst. The sole idea made her sick, especially since she knew the fear of losing Joohyun all too well.

The two rules had been broken once before, and the result was the most detrimental fight to ever occur in Red Velvet’s history.

-

**2017**

Red Velvet was wrapping up their early-year comeback, Rookie. The title track was a hit, but like all comebacks, things were hectic during the peak of their promotions. With all the music show performances, radio appearances, and interviews, the members were glad their schedules were finally slowing down.

With the newfound freedom, Seulgi took the opportunity to meet up with an old classmate. A few months back, she had run into him at the market. They exchanged numbers and went out a few times after that, but with Seulgi’s busy schedule, whatever it was between them was put to a halt.

She was happy to see him again. Dating was never a realistic option for her, not when she was at the height of her career, but it was refreshing to be around someone outside of the idol industry for a change.

Since he was considerate of the circumstances that came with her job, Seulgi assumed it was harmless to spend more time with him. As always, Red Velvet was at the top of her priority list.

She never would have expected it to lead to that awful night with Joohyun.

_Seulgi held onto the door handle as she stepped into the apartment. With both feet inside, she gently pulled the entry closed and slipped off her sneakers. She then tiptoed into the kitchen, curious as to why the lights were on at two in the morning._

_Joohyun was leaning against the counter, head buried in her phone._

_“Oh, Joohyun-Unnie,” Seulgi called out. She kept her voice down. “Why are you still up?”_

_Joohyun lifted her gaze, features taut and arms crossed. “Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing?”_

_Seulgi frowned as she set her purse on the kitchen island. She threw her jacket over a barstool. “I was with a friend. Is something wrong?” she asked, wary of Joohyun's unhappy expression._

_“Who were you with?”_

_“Jaeyoung. Why?” As Seulgi waited for a reply, she walked to the water pitcher by Joohyun’s side. By the time she finished pouring herself a glass, the other girl still hadn’t said a word. “Is everything okay? You’re acting weird.”_

_“You were with him again?”_

_Seulgi nodded, eyeing Joohyun suspiciously. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”_

_After a moment, Joohyun dropped her arms to her sides. “Have you thought this through, Seulgi?”_

_Seulgi stiffened at the sudden confrontation._

_“We still have schedules,” Joohyun said sternly. “We need to be focused on our activities as a group.”_

_“What?” Seulgi’s head sat slanted, puzzled by her group member’s words. “Where is this coming from so suddenly?”_

_“I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m concerned.”_

_Oh._

_Seulgi’s face softened into a smile. She closed the gap between her and Joohyun and rested her palms on the older girl’s shoulders. “Hey, I know things have been really stressful,” she said, caressing down the sides of Joohyun’s arms, “but you don’t have to worry about this. I would never let anything affect our work.”_

_Joohyun shook off Seulgi’s hold and stepped back. “How can you be sure? You came home at two in the morning...”_

_“Is it that big of a deal? It’s not usually a problem what time we come home,” Seulgi noted, ignoring the disappointment she felt at the rejection of her touch. “We don’t have any schedules tomorrow.”_

_“What if we did?”_

_“Well, I probably would’ve come home earlier,” Seulgi chuckled. “If not, then I’d carry on and do my best like I always do.”_

_Expecting the topic to come to a close, the corners of Seulgi’s lips tugged into a hopeful smile. She didn’t blame Joohyun for having worries. There was always tremendous pressure on the members during comeback season so if Joohyun needed some reassurance, she would gladly give it to her._

_Joohyun’s expression never changed though. After a silent minute, she still wore the same tense face from the start of the conversation._

_Seulgi’s smile quickly fell._

_Did Joohyun actually think there was a problem?_

_“Unnie,” Seulgi said, brows furrowed, “are you doubting me?_

_“No, I’m not doubting you. I’m just concerned.”_

_“Are you sure? Because it’s starting to feel like you don’t trust me.”_

_“You know that’s not what I mean—”_

_“But I don’t.” Seulgi paused, pursing her lips. Something was off. “Will you tell me what’s really going on?”_

_“I already told you. We shouldn’t be letting distractions come in the way of our group. A lot of eyes are on us because of our comeback and this isn’t the first time you’ve been out late with Jaeyoung, you know?”_

_“Coming home late doesn’t mean I’m letting him distract me,” Seulgi said in defense. “I’m being just as careful as, like, Sooyoung. You of all people should know Red Velvet is my number one priority.”_

_“Yes, but you’re not listening to me—”_

_“No, you’re not listening to me.”_

_“Seulgi-yah,” Joohyun breathed._

_“I’m sorry,” Seulgi said. Her tone had come out more aggressive than she intended it to. She felt guilty, but not guilty enough to overshadow the fact that she was still a little offended by Joohyun’s accusations. “It’s just, I’m aware of what I’m doing, okay? It honestly kind of hurts that this is something you’d question my dedication to the group over.”_

_“It’s not that I’m questioning you," Joohyun reasoned. “I know you would never intend for it to affect anything, but what if it ends up that way? What if coming home late becomes a habit? And what if people catch you? Then what?”_

_Seulgi looked at Joohyun in disbelief. “Unnie, that’s really unfair. You know what kind of person I am. I get that you have worries, but how could you say that about me?”_

_Joohyun stayed quiet._

_At that point, Seulgi was beginning to think it wasn’t the group that Joohyun was concerned about. It was definitely something else, but what it was exactly, Seulgi couldn’t say it out loud._

_Regardless, she was still upset._

_“I’m still confused about something,” she said, breaking the silence._

_“What is it?”_

_“This has never been an issue between the five of us before. Why now? We’re supposed to respect each other’s personal lives...”_

_“I only brought it up because it has the potential to affect the group,” Joohyun said._

_There it was again. That same excuse._

_“Everyone’s paying attention to us right now,” Joohyun continued. “There’s too much at stake for you to be going out with some random guy so often. If it blows up, it’ll affect everyone. You, Jaeyoung, us.”_

_Seulgi crossed her arms. “So what are you implying then?”_

_“You need to rethink whatever’s going on between you and him.”_

_Seulgi’s brows flew up. Joohyun, as both the oldest member and the group leader, was never like this—unaccommodating and controlling._

_“You’re telling me that I need to cut off a friend because you said so?” she asked, insulted._

_“That’s not what I—”_

_“No, let me get this straight,” Seulgi cut in. “Even though there’s no proof that Jaeyoung is a distraction to me and even though our friendship has a lot less risk of blowing up compared to Sooyoung and Seungwan’s actual relationships, which I know for a fact you don’t have any issues with, you still want me to stop hanging out with him?”_

_Joohyun’s shoulders fell. “You know there’s more to it than that. As your leader, I’m only advising you to think about what’s best for the group.”_

_At a loss for words, Seulgi bit the inside of her cheek._

_“There’s no room to be selfish.”_

_Selfish._

_Maybe it was because it was late and Seulgi’s patience had already been worn thin, or maybe it was because she was being everything but selfish while Joohyun was being nothing but selfish, but as soon as the word left Joohyun’s mouth, Seulgi lost it._

_“Selfish? Are you fucking serious?”_

_All four eyes shot open._

_Seulgi’s life flashed before her eyes. Her palm flew over her mouth. The moment the curse escaped her lips, regret flooded her conscience._

_“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it,” she spewed as she reached for the older girl’s arm._

_Joohyun dodged Seulgi’s hand. “So that’s how much respect you have for me, huh?”_

_“No, of course not. It was an accident. Unnie, I’m sorry. It just slipped out—”_

_“I can’t believe you Seulgi!”_

_“Wait, you’re gonna wake everyone—”_

_“How am I supposed to sort things out when you act like this?”_

_“What?” Seulgi’s face scrunched together. “I’m really sorry for swearing at you, but I still don’t think anything needs to be sorted out.”_

_“Did you not register anything I said?”_

_“You were being unreasonable!” Seulgi blurted out, discarding the thought of her sleeping members._

_Joohyun let out a bitter chuckle. “I was the one being unreasonable?”_

_“Yeah!” Water began to simmer behind Seulgi’s eyes—a tendency that occurred whenever her emotions flared up. “You attacked me about Jaeyoung out of nowhere and you accused me of all these things I would never do! Since when are we not allowed to spend time with our friends?”_

_“I was trying to be considerate of the group!”_

_“Stop saying that! If that was true, you’d have a problem with Sooyoung and Sungjae! And what about Seungwan?” Seulgi glared at Joohyun as the older girl stood silent, jaw clenched. “See how unfair this is? What makes it okay for you to—”_

_“Fine!” Joohyun snapped. “But what do you want me to say? I’m sorry for caring about you? I’m sorry for worrying about whether you get caught whoring around or not? I’m sorry for looking out for someone who's too immature and slow for her own good? Is that what you want to hear?”_

_At those words, Seulgi pulled back. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she stared at Joohyun with horrified eyes._

_“Seulgi, I didn’t—”_

_“Really, Unnie?” Seulgi shook her head. “Really?”_

_“Seulgi, wait. We both took things too far—”_

_“I can’t be near you anymore,” Seulgi huffed. She raced back to her belongings, picking up her jacket and throwing her purse over her shoulder before marching to the kitchen exit._

_“Yah! Where are you going?”_

_Seulgi turned to face Joohyun. “Anywhere but here!”_

_“Oh, so you’re just gonna leave us like this?” Joohyun retorted._

_“It’s not like there’s anything else I can do!”_

_“See? This is exactly what I mean by selfish and immature!”_

_“Then what now!” Seulgi yelled. “How am I supposed to do anything when you keep making dumb excuses to cover up what this is really about!”_

_“What did you just say? You’re the one who won’t listen to me! I was just trying to get you to—”_

_“Face it! You're jealous!” Seulgi spat._

_She had had enough. Frustration boiled vigorously through her veins, shrouding the passive girl she normally was. The only problem—it wasn't really Joohyun she was mad at._

_It was just easier to blame her._

_“You’re just some cold bitch who doesn’t have anyone but us four and I’m not going to stand here and listen to you insult me for that!”_

_“Take that back now,” Joohyun gritted through her teeth._

_“Unnie, I’m not yours,” Seulgi said, her voice laced with bitterness. “I’m allowed to go out. I’m allowed to meet new people and I’m allowed to date. You know why? Because I’m not holding onto something that can never happen.”_

_Tears fled the corners of Joohyun’s eyes._

_“I hope you know I have a life outside of you,” Seulgi breathed. “And I think it’s time you get your own because—”_

_She almost stopped there._

_Almost._

_“—it’s not worth waiting for each other. It never was.”_

_Seulgi swore, in that moment, a glint of hurt flashed in Joohyun’s hazy, red eyes. She wanted to retract her words, to apologize, to pretend the fight hadn’t happened at all, but before she could do any of that, she turned her back to Joohyun._

_“Kang Seulgi-ssi!”_

_Seulgi froze._

_“Don’t leave.”_

_She didn’t know which was more devastating—the way Joohyun’s voice cracked, or the way her heart broke when she heard it. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering all the strength she had to walk away._

_And then she left, slamming the door behind her._

For months after that night, nothing was resolved.

At first, Seulgi kept some residual anger from the fight. What upset her the most was how Joohyun had resorted to attacking her character for the sake of a rationale. The insults thrown at her were hurtful, especially coming from Joohyun.

Seulgi was never one to hold a grudge though.

As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, Seulgi's animosity perished and regret consumed her entire being. At that point, she just wanted things to go back to normal.

When it came to public appearances, Seulgi and Joohyun did what was necessary to avoid sparking rumours about the state of their friendship. They answered questions about each other, they laughed at each other's jokes, and they even came in contact with each other—a monumental feat for them even if it wasn't always intentional.

The moment the cameras and fans left the picture, they couldn't be found alone in the same room if their lives depended on it. Even around the other members, the air grew thick with tension anytime they stood within a meter from each other. Other than mandatory practices and meetings, they never spoke.

Of course, Seulgi hated it.

Joohyun wasn't just her group member. She was one of her best friends.

She missed Joohyun's hold on her arm. She missed their movie nights and their little shopping trips. She missed their chatter as she ate at the dining table and Joohyun watched TV in the living room. She missed sitting in the kitchen, scrolling through her phone as Joohyun cooked herself a meal in the background.

From their late night hangouts to the plain comfort of Joohyun's presence, Seulgi missed it all.

By the fifth month, it was starting to feel like she had lost Joohyun for good.

_"I made lasagna. Do you want some?"_

_Seulgi glanced at the door to find her roommate peeking into the room. "You did?"_

_"It's not ready yet, but yeah."_

_"Oh, okay." Seulgi slumped back against her pillows, returning to the Youtube video she had been interrupted from._

_"It's just cooling down so come out in like five minutes. I'm going back to the kitchen."_

_Seulgi nodded mindlessly, then all of sudden, she shot upright. “Wait!” These days, she didn't like to leave her room unless she had to. "Seungwan! Come back!"_

_Seungwan leaned back into the room._

_"Is Joohyun-Unnie home?" Seulgi asked, just above a whisper._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Can you bring me a plate instead?" Seulgi bit her lip as her roommate narrowed her eyes at her. She knew she sounded ridiculous, but anything to avoid running into Joohyun. "Please?" she added, showing off her best puppy eyes._

_"I can't believe you," Seungwan huffed before walking away._

_A few minutes later, Seungwan reappeared under the door frame._

_A wide grin plastered itself on Seulgi's face as she watched her roommate shut the door with her foot. "You shouldn't have," she jokingly beamed. She propped herself up against the wall and reached out for one of the two plates in Seungwan's hands, but her face quickly morphed into betrayal as Seungwan walked straight to her desk, keeping both shares of lasagna. "Um—"_

_"Oh, did you think I was just going to give this to you?" Seungwan said, taking a seat._

_"What do you want?" Seulgi asked. Her roommate was definitely plotting something._

_"Unless you tell me what happened between you and Joohyun-Unnie, and why it hasn't fixed itself yet, you can get your own plate."_

_There it was._

_"Come on," Seulgi pouted._

_Seungwan shook her head left and right, shoving a forkful of lasagna into her mouth._

_In a sudden outburst, Seulgi dashed onto her feet and launched herself forward. She threw out her hands at the other plate, but centimeters away from the lasagna, Seungwan grabbed onto her wrists._

_"Yah! Are you serious?" Seungwan clamoured._

_Seulgi wrestled against her roommate's forceful defense, determined to steal the lasagna. "Just give it to me!"_

_"No!"_

_The scuffle lasted over a minute. Seungwan was a lot stronger than she looked. Knowing her roommate wasn't going to let up, Seulgi surrendered. She pulled away and sat back onto the edge of her bed, crossing her arms._

_"It's all in the kitchen. If you're that hungry, go ge—"_

_"I'll give you a full body massage," Seulgi said._ _The offer was her last resort._

_"Really?"_

_Seulgi nodded. "Just give me the lasagna first."_ _She watched her roommate with high hopes, but after a little hesitation, Seungwan shook her head._

_"No. Our mini-album comes out in less than a month and you're both still acting so weird."_

_"So?" Seulgi shrugged. "We're fine when we have to do things as Red Velvet."_

_"Sure, but is that how you want it to be forever?" Seungwan challenged. "You're totally okay with never making up with her? Because as much as I don't miss the baby-talking, I have a feeling neither of you want that."_

_"What do you mean by baby-talk—"_

_"Nevermind that. Just answer me."_

_"The massage is still an option." Seulgi really wasn’t in the mood to talk about Joohyun. She hadn’t been for a long time._

_"I'm being serious," Seungwan said. "I just can't imagine what could've happened for you guys to fight for this long. I'm worried. All of us are. We tried to leave it since neither of you would talk to us, but even fans have started to notice something's up. Yerim showed me tweets."_

_"Oh." Seulgi's eyes fell._

_Seungwan walked over to Seulgi's bed and sat down beside her. "Can we forget about Red Velvet for a minute and just talk to each other as friends? It’s been five months, Seulgi. I can tell you're hurting over this and I want to help, but both you and Joohyun-Unnie keep pushing us away."_

_Seungwan had a point._

_The last thing Seulgi wanted was for her relationship with Joohyun to remain hostile forever. Five months had passed and nothing changed. If anything, things had gotten worse._

_"I messed up," Seulgi confessed. Her head fell into her palm. "Seungwan, I messed up like, really, really bad."_

_"Hey." Seungwan rubbed circles into Seulgi’s back. “Let’s start at the beginning, okay? What happened?”_

_“So none of you heard us yelling?”_

_Seungwan shook her head. “Yerim slept through it all, but Sooyoung and I woke up to a loud bang, which turned out to be you. Then we both ran outside when Unnie slammed her door.”_

_Seulgi pursed her lips, considering the best approach to explain her fight with Joohyun. There were a few details she wanted to avoid mentioning, which truthfully, was everything._

_“She confronted me about Jaeyoung after I was out late with him,” she said._

_“Huh? Really?”_

_“Yeah. I was confused too but she kept saying I was being inconsiderate of the group when I asked her why.”_

_“That doesn’t sound like her at all...”_

_“I know.”_

_“How did things get so heated though? You two didn't try and talk it out?”_

_“I mean, we did at first,” Seulgi said. “I don’t know. I sort of figured out why she was acting like that, but I guess I lost it when she said I was being selfish._ _I ended up swearing at her, kind of, and that's when we started yelling at each other. She got mad, I called her unreasonable, and then she threw a few insults at me. She said I was whoring around, and that I was immature and slow."_

_Seulgi paused to sigh, regret hitting her full force as she described the night._

_"There's more, like I called her a bitch with no life, but yeah, that's what happened.”_

_“Oh my god…”_

_By the look on Seungwan’s face, Seulgi knew her group member was having deep trouble in understanding how she and Joohyun had gotten to that point. She wouldn’t have been able to be able to believe it either. They were the least likely to end up in a fight like that._ _If only Seungwan knew the whole story—like the very last words she had said to Joohyun._

_Seulgi wasn’t going to tell her._

_“The thing is, even though we both said things we shouldn’t have, I think I was the one who took it too far,” Seulgi said, swallowing the onset of tears. Her emotions were already beginning to creep up on her—something that happened frequently at the thought of Joohyun._

_“Why do you say that?” Seungwan frowned._

_“I’m not even mad about it. I don't care. I can forgive her for everything she said to me.” Seulgi blinked away the mist in her stinging eyes. “But the things I said to her—Seungwan, I’m never going to forget the look on her face.”_

_“Seulgi-yah,” Seungwan breathed, slinging an arm around Seulgi’s shoulders. “Listen to me. Tell me why it’s so easy for you to forgive her.”_

_“I know she didn’t mean anything. I knew it back then too, but I don’t know what came over me when I said all those things to her.” Seulgi ducked her head low, hopelessly shaking it side to side. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at her.”_

_“What makes you think she isn’t thinking the same thing you are?”_

_Seulgi's eyes flew to Seungwan._

_“You both said things you shouldn’t have,” Seungwan quoted. “Joohyun-Unnie, she's extremely considerate when it comes to us. She has to be punching herself really hard over this. With the responsibility she feels over us, there’s no way she's not blaming herself just as much as you’re blaming yourself.”_

_Seulgi sat quiet. She didn’t know how to respond._

_Seungwan sighed. “Look. Unnie likes you the best—”_

_“What?” Seulgi creased her brows together. “I don’t think that’s—”_

_“Seulgi. I might not know the extent of what happened that night, but what I do know is that you’re her favourite. As much as I like to deny it, it’s true. You know it too.”_

_Seulgi pressed her lips together, unconvinced._

_“Remember when you ate her chips and left the bag next to Sooyoung and Yerim? Oh my god, she got so mad at them. I still can’t believe all she said was ‘oh, were they good?’ when she found out it was actually you.”_

_A breathy, dejected chuckled left Seulgi’s mouth._

_“See? Even though she takes care of all of us, it’s different with you. Kind of weird if I’m being honest, but she's going to forgive you. I’m pretty sure she already has.”_

_“I don't know. It's been five months..."_

_“Probably because you refuse to stand in the same room as her unless you have to,” Seungwan said. “Stop avoiding each other. That's not how we do things as Red Velvet. And y_ _ou know how Unnie can be sometimes. Being the first one to say something is hard, but think about it. How long are you willing to let this go on for?_ _"_

_I don't want it to go on, I want it to stop, Seulgi thought._

_"Just talk to her. Once you do, you two will be okay. There's no way you won't."_

A week later, Seulgi still hadn’t approached Joohyun. 

She had every intention to, but preparations for Red Velvet’s summer comeback kept getting in the way, according to what she told Seungwan.

Practice worked as an excuse when Seulgi needed it. She had been at the studio for Red Velvet’s next comeback more often than she ever had before. If she was going to keep avoiding Joohyun, it was better to occupy her time perfecting her performance rather than something useless like moping about Joohyun **—** not that she wasn't already constantly doing it in the back of her mind.

_“Naega jeil joahaneun geon yeoreumui neo...”_

_The final line of Red Velvet’s newest title track rang through the dance studio. Alone, Seulgi kneeled into her ending pose._

_One more time, she told herself._

_She walked to the speaker system and replayed the song. She then hurried back into position, but just as the intro was about to come in, she noticed the door slowly push open through the mirrors._

_The moment her eyes met the visitor’s, her breath stopped. The room immediately grew tense—nothing like the bright, upbeat song playing in the background. She moved to stop the music then turned around. “How did you know I was here...”_

_“The members told me.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Can we sit?”_

_In agreement, Seulgi backed up against the studio mirrors and slid to her bottom, tucking her knees against her chest. Her eyes followed the other girl as she sat down next to her, far enough for three bodies to fit between them._

_“Did um, did Seungwan talk to you?” Seulgi asked hesitantly._

_“No. Sooyoung and Yerim did.”_

_Seulgi stared down at the studio floors._

_“They’re right.”_

_Her eyes darted to the other girl._

_“We let this go on for too long.”_

_Seulgi sat still, unable to form a reply. “Unnie—”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Joohyun said it first. Seungwan was right._

_"I'm so sorry." Joohyun pushed herself closer to Seulgi. "I was the one being selfish. Nothing I said was true. None of it. The past five months have been unbearable. Please, Seulgi, tell me you can forgive me. You mean everything to me."_

_"Unnie," Seulgi breathed. She looked into Joohyun's watery eyes and suddenly, tears began pouring from her own._

_Relief._

_That's what it was. Seulgi was relieved._

_"I thought—I thought I lost you," she choked. "The things I said to you were horrible. Unnie, I'm so sorry. I was never mad at you. I was—"_

_"I know." Joohyun lifted a hand to wipe Seulgi's cheek. "Don't cry. I know. I think it was the same for the both of us."_

_Seulgi didn't need Joohyun to spell it out. It was their feelings—the fact that they can't be together—that they were angry at._

_"We've never mentioned it until that fight," Joohyun said._

_"Yeah. It feels weird." Seulgi sighed. Even now, it felt too forbidden to say it out loud. "But talking about it doesn't change anything."_

_"It doesn't."_

_"That's okay."_

_Was it? Seulgi wasn't sure, but even if it wasn't okay, it had to be. All she knew was that she never wanted to risk losing Joohyun again._

_"Unnie. Promise me something?" Seulgi's eyes met Joohyun's._ _"Promise me this will never happen again?"_

_"It won't. I promise. We're Red Velvet's Irene and Seulgi. We're not getting rid of each other that easily."_

_Seulgi let out a soft chuckle._

_Joohyun smiled. "Let's go back to normal, okay? Let's go back to being Bae Joohyun and Kang Seulgi."_

_Content, Seulgi nodded, pushing away the feeling that behind their two smiles, were thousands of words wishing to be set free._


	3. Chapter 3

It was three in the morning.

Despite Seulgi’s strenuous efforts, her goal of falling asleep was far too ambitious. Defeated, she sat up against her pillows and flicked on her bedside lamp. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she reached for her phone and pulled up the string of unanswered texts from Joohyun.

**Baechu Unnie ✨🐰❤️**

_Fri, Nov 4_

We need to talk.

Seulgi?

_Sat, Nov 5_

I cleaned your room.

Come on, Seulgi. Don’t be like this.

I know you’re ignoring me.

_Mon, Nov 7_

Kang Seulgi, this isn’t like you.

Please answer me.

At least tell me you’re okay? 

We have practice soon.

When I see you, we are going to talk.

Seulgi shut her tired lids as the messages replayed in her head. Joohyun was right. As members of the same idol group, it was inevitable that they would be forced together at some point.

Shivers coursed through her body at the fact. For two weeks, she had been able to find refuge at her parents' house, but in about nine hours, she would be preparing for an upcoming performance with her members.

 _All_ her members.

Unfortunately, there was no way around it. Seulgi would never skip a practice unless it was necessary. To do so would be unjustifiable—even for someone who had ignored her group leader for fourteen days straight.

Speaking of, along with the dread of facing Joohyun, came the guilt of ignoring her. Seulgi thought back to the promise she made with Joohyun three years ago—a promise to never let anything like those five horrendous months happen again.

Joohyun was doing everything she could by calling and texting.

Seulgi knew it was herself. She was the one breaking the promise, and while she loathed herself for it, talking to Joohyun was just too damn scary. There was only one direction her relationship with Joohyun could go after their drunken night together, and she couldn’t come to terms with it.

Unnerved, Seulgi threw her phone onto the carpet beside her and collapsed onto her back. Limbs sprawled out, she stared at the ceiling, mulling over her inescapable meeting with Joohyun.

-

The next afternoon, Seulgi walked into the studio a calculated sixteen minutes late.

It was the only time she didn’t care to get scolded for being late. The first quarter-hour of practice was always pointless banter between the members anyway, and Seulgi really didn’t feel like talking about anything other than work.

Since the group’s upcoming stage was one they had performed before, the plan for the day was straightforward; go over their routines with the dance instructor and look for any minor adjustments needed to be made.

Seulgi was in luck. She wouldn’t have had the brain power to learn new choreography—not when Joohyun was standing nearby—but her luck was soon cut short as she discovered they would be running through Red Flavor first.

Typically, the summer track was one of Seulgi’s favourites. While it did get old at times, moving from member to member during the second verse was always fun.

This time around, it was everything but fun, because as soon as she approached Joohyun for their three-second duet, she met the older girl’s eyes for the first time in two weeks.

For the first time since they had slept together.

Seulgi thought she would crumble apart right then and there. Joohyun was clearly upset. Her lips were perched in a straight line and her brows were slanted inwards above her nose.

It was almost funny—the way they executed such cheerful moves when really, cheerful was the last thing either of them felt.

With only a few more instances of accidental eye contact, along with hundreds of stolen glances, the end of practice eventually rolled around. Unlike Seungwan, who had said it went by ‘really fast’, Seulgi spent the entire two-and-a-half-hour schedule in pure torment, more focused on rehearsing the words she would say to Joohyun, rather than her dancing.

Having just finished stretching, Seulgi sat on the floor, legs spread out in a triangle and back hunched over as she checked her phone. In the back of her mind, she nervously awaited the moment she dreaded the most—Joohyun was going to approach her and ask to talk. 

Seulgi had assumed it would happen as soon as practice ended, but when too much time passed undisturbed, she lifted her eyes. Her brows furrowed together as she looked around the studio.

Confused, she walked up to Yerim leaning against the wall.

“Where did Joohyun-Unnie go?” she asked.

Yerim shrugged.

“Did she leave?”

“I don’t think so. Her bag’s still here.”

Seulgi lifted a brow. “Oh. Weird—”

“Seulgi-Unnie! Yerim-ah! Let’s take pictures! We’re all wearing white.”

Seulgi turned to Sooyoung across the room. Taking pictures didn't sound very appealing, but she followed Yerim to Sooyoung’s side regardless. It was as she was posing for what must have been their thirty-seventh mirror selfie that Joohyun reappeared, stomping forward behind her reflection.

The next thing Seulgi knew, she was being dragged out of the practice room by the arm.

“I called you like a hundred times,” Joohyun said, serious.

Seulgi stood quiet, like she had done from the moment Joohyun had shoved her into the company’s recording studio.

“Do you know how worried I was? You didn’t answer my calls, you didn’t reply to my texts, you didn't post anything online or say anything in the chat. I wouldn’t even have known you were alive if it weren’t for the others! Seulgi, I thought we learned from last time. I thought we both knew better. We can’t just run away when things—”

“I get it!” It had come out harsher than Seulgi expected it to, but she was already ashamed enough. She didn’t need Joohyun to scold her for it either. “Unnie, I get it. I just—I didn’t know how to face you after I—after we made the biggest mistake of our lives.”

For a second, Seulgi swore she caught Joohyun’s expression change into something unexpected. It was along the lines of disappointment, maybe hurt, but she couldn’t be sure. It faded away before it even settled in.

“I’m sorry,” Joohyun said, her rigid shoulder’s dropping, “I didn’t mean to attack you, but Seulgi, you can’t just disappear on me like that. Not after, you know…”

What happened three years ago. Not after that.

“I know, but I’m here now,” Seulgi reassured.

“Okay.” Joohyun took a breath. “Okay. Can we talk now?”

“Um,” Seulgi hesitated, glancing around the cramped studio. “Does it have to be here?”

“Are you being serious right now?”

Seulgi knew she sounded pathetic for trying to avert things even longer, but she wasn’t only trying to buy herself more time. Settling things at the company didn’t feel quite right.

“I’m willing to, I swear. I just don’t think we should do it here, like at work.”

“Then where? And when?” Joohyun asked, crossing her arms.

“Me and Sooyoung are supposed to move back in on Friday, right?”

Joohyun nodded skeptically.

“I’ll come a day early. Then we can talk. It’s better if we do it at home where we have real privacy.”

“Okay, fine," Joohyun huffed. "Thursday, you’ll come home?”

"I’ll come home.”

-

Besides sleeping with Joohyun, talking at the dorm must have been the worst idea Seulgi had ever had.

The instant she stepped into the apartment, shudders ran through her body as traumatic flashbacks of the day after stormed her mind. 

Luckily, she managed to suck it up and survive the trek to her room. She braced herself as she slowly pushed the door open, and then as she walked in, her eyes roamed around the tight space.

Like Joohyun had said, everything was cleaned up. Her bed was made, her books and records were back in place, and the floor was completley visible—clear of paint supplies, makeup, alcohol, and most importantly, pyjamas.

It almost felt like her room had never been trashed in the first place. 

Too bad that wasn't the case.

Seulgi sighed as she dropped her duffle bag to the ground. She then sat down on the edge of the mattress and began rummaging through her packed belongings. As she was pulling out her phone charger, she felt a presence settle by the door.

She looked up.

“Hey.”

It was time.

Seulgi pushed her duffle bag forward and shuffled back on her mattress. Her fingers fiddled with each other as Joohyun quietly took a seat beside her.

“Hi,” Seulgi said. It was low and shaky. All of a sudden, it seemed as if she was twenty-three again—as if she had travelled back to that day in the studio three years ago.

Only this time, she knew things wouldn’t end the same.

“So, we um—”

“Yeah...”

“About what you said before it happened.”

Unsure of what Joohyun was alluding to, Seulgi’s head slanted to the side.

Oh, right.

She hadn’t told Joohyun yet.

“I don’t remember,” she said.

“Huh?”

“That night. I can’t remember any of it. I only figured it out after I woke up.”

“Oh.”

Seulgi noticed the way Joohyun sounded disappointed. “Do you—”

“Yes,” Joohyun said. “I remember it. All of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We drank a lot. It was both our mistake.”

Seulgi’s gaze sat low as silence consumed the room. She cleared her throat. “How did we end up…”

“You kissed me.”

Seulgi’s eyes grew wide.

“We were painting in here and then out of nowhere, you kissed me.”

She kissed Joohyun _first_.

Hearing it out loud, Seulgi realized she probably shouldn’t have asked. Knowing the night happened was already hard enough as it was, but knowing the details made it so much worse, especially when she couldn't remember the feeling of Joohyun.

“It got a little um, messy, so we mo—”

“I’m sorry,” Seulgi interrupted. She couldn’t bear to listen anymore.

Joohyun let out a sigh. “Stop saying that.”

Once again, the room fell quiet. 

“Seulgi-yah," Joohyun said, almost as a whisper, “maybe we have done this sooner, but—I think it's time we set some boundaries between us.”

There it was—the reason why Seulgi tried so hard to ignore Joohyun.

Boundaries. 

It was just another word for rules.

And even though she and Joohyun were never good at following the rules, Seulgi had a feeling this would be the last time they broke them. 

All she could say was an unsteady ‘okay’.

“That means no more nights. Just us two.”

“Okay.”

It wasn't.

Seulgi was the happiest next to Joohyun, walking underneath the stars at Hangang or satisfying their midnight boredom with a movie.

“No more hugs or cuddles. No more touches.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t.

Seulgi had spent years getting used to Joohyun’s touch when they first met, only to end up needing it.

“And no more Bae Joohyun and Kang Seulgi. Just Irene and Seulgi.”

“Okay.”

Again, it wasn’t.

Seulgi was always more Kang Seulgi then she was Red Velvet’s Seulgi.

“Let’s not burden our members," Joohyun said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Let’s not burden Red Velvet.”

 _Let’s go back to normal. Let’s go back to being Bae Joohyun and Kang Seulgi_ is what Seulgi really wanted to hear, but even if Joohyun had said it, she wasn't sure it was possible.

This time, Seulgi could only nod. If she had said the four-letter word again, she would’ve lost control of the pools in her eyes.

“My Seulgi-yah…” Joohyun reached over, moving Seulgi’s hand to her lap and intertwining their fingers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t do a good job. I wasn’t able to be a better Unnie to you like I said I would.”

At those words, Seulgi lost it. Unbroken streams fled her eyes. “Unnie,” she choked, breathlessly.

“I should go back to my room.”

Seulgi never liked how far Joohyun's room was from hers. Somehow, it felt even further away now.

“Stay here tonight, okay?” Joohyun pushed herself off Seulgi’s bed and rose to her feet. “I think it's best if I stay somewhere else, but I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”

It was the saddest thing Seulgi had ever seen—the hopeless smile Joohyun gave before turning away.

That was it. 

Even though it was the only possibility after their drunken night together, and even though Seulgi had seen it coming, nothing could have prepared her for it.

She was losing Joohyun.

As Seulgi watched Joohyun make her way out of the room, she asked herself how she could have let things get to this point. How could she have let herself get so drunk? How could she have let herself kiss Joohyun? How could she have let herself sleep with Joohyun?

How could she have let herself do all that, when it was Joohyun on the line?

Seulgi didn’t have an answer.

And now, she was going to let herself watch Joohyun walk away?

_No._

To never remember the feeling of Joohyun’s lips against her own—

To continue as Irene and Seulgi of Red Velvet as if that was enough—

To act as if all everything she wanted wasn’t standing _right there_ —

Seulgi was done pretending it was okay.

Screw the rules.

Before Joohyun could step out the door, Seulgi ran onto her feet and latched onto the older girl’s wrist. She spun her around, their eyes meeting for a single frame, and then she did the only thing she could think of doing.

She leaned in.

_Oh no._

It was as if it happened in slow motion.

Seulgi couldn't even take in how amazing it felt to be that close to Joohyun, because maybe, if she had just let Joohyun go, she could have learned to live as only Irene and Seulgi of Red Velvet. Maybe she could have moved on and then maybe, just maybe, they could have found their way back to Joohyun and Seulgi. 

A sober kiss ruined all those hopes.

Seulgi had thought it was sleeping with Joohyun drunk, but no—this was the biggest mistake of her life. As she stood, barely pressed against Joohyun’s frozen lips, she was certain nothing would be the same again, until—

She was being kissed back.

It was soft. The pressure was almost unnoticeable at first, but Seulgi noticed it.

_Joohyun kissed her back._

Seulgi instantly melted into the kiss, tears pouring down her cheeks. It was the biggest relief she had felt since that day in the studio all those years ago.

What made things different was that this time, she had also found all the reassurance she needed to fight for Joohyun.

Joohyun pulled away first. “Seulgi, we shouldn't—”

“No, wait." Seulgi needed to be the first to speak. "None of this okay and you can’t tell me it is either.”

“Seulgi—”

“Why can't we be together? Why can't we be happy together?”

“Seulgi—”

“No!” Seulgi shook her head. She refused to accept the hopeless look on Joohyun’s face. “No... We don’t have to be a burden to our group. We can figure it out. Unnie, we can find a way, just _please_ —”

Desperation seethed from her final words.

“—I love you.”

"I love you too."

Then it happened so fast. 

Joohyun’s hands were cupped around her cheeks and Joohyun’s front was pressed against hers.

In that moment, as Seulgi’s lips found Joohyun once again, even she had to admit—some rules were meant to be broken.


	4. epilogue

**4 months later**

It was the calm before the storm—the calm being her day off and the storm being the release of Red Velvet's comeback in two weeks.

The dorm was quiet. Seulgi had just eaten dinner, and she was enjoying herself on the living room couch, legs folded up as she scrolled through her phone. Her lips rested in a sly smile. She had just sent a message to her fans, hinting about the group's upcoming song.

Red Velvet's schedule had been packed as preparations for their comeback were in full force. Somehow, through all the rehearsing and filming, the members had received an unexpected three days off in a row—tonight being the end of the first.

The pace of staying in was nice. Seulgi had spent the entire day catching up on both sleep and Netflix. The others were taking advantage of their time off as well. Seungwan and Yerim had left to spend the night with their friends, while Joohyun and Sooyoung were off in their rooms, most likely doing the same as Seulgi had.

Out of nowhere, someone's door unlatched. Seulgi lifted her eyes to glance at the hallway opening. As one of her group members came into view, she clicked her phone off and laid it face-down beside her.

Joohyun quietly approached Seulgi, pushing her knees down.

Seulgi's brows perked up as Joohyun straddled her lap without a word. Her hands instinctively wrapped around the older girl's waist. "What are you—"

Suddenly, Joohyun's lips were on hers. The kiss was soft and slow, and it lasted five seconds.

"Hi," Joohyun whispered, hovering above Seulgi's mouth.

A dazed smile grew on Seulgi's face as Joohyun pulled back. "What was that for?"

"I miss you."

Seulgi let out a chuckle. "Did you forget?"

"Forget what?"

"About Red Velvet? And that we live together?"

"No," Joohyun said, rolling her eyes, "but we've been so busy. I miss _you_."

Seulgi couldn't get a word out before she was brought in for another kiss—a much more sensual one than the first. "Unnie—Sooyoung's still—she's still—" Her thoughts muddled as she felt Joohyun's warm breath move to her ear. She rolled her head to the side, indulging in the tender kisses trailing down her neck.

Eventually, Seulgi came to her senses. "Not now," she said, gently pushing Joohyun away.

"Sorry." Joohyun bit her lip, amused. "I can't help it."

Seulgi let out another chuckle, then, an idea flashed in her head.

So the talk had changed everything, but nothing like how either of them expected it to.

Seulgi couldn't believe it at first—how Joohyun had said it back, and how Joohyun had said they could find a way.

Their circumstances were somewhat unconventional though. Seulgi didn't know where she and Joohyun stood, which was also why it was very confusing in the beginning.

To start, they had already slept together. She refused to think of their 'first time' as their _real_ first time—due to the unfortunate involvement of alcohol—but they did, in fact, have sex.

Second, they had already exchanged their first 'I love you's'—real ones, not the ones that were always thrown around longtime friends—and third, they had already spent a decade doing couple-like things, just not as a couple.

It also didn't help that they had so many other factors to consider, like the security of Red Velvet, their reputations, and the workload of their jobs.

Fortunately, she and Joohyun naturally fell into a rhythm. After years of complicated, they found it best to just take things slow—to enjoy things as they had always been, only now, with more kisses. It meant they hadn't had sex yet, and technically, they hadn't gone out on a _real_ first date yet, but Seulgi didn't mind.

After four months though, she was starting to mind, especially when Joohyun kissed her like _that._

Time to put their days off to good use.

"What if we went out tomorrow?" Seulgi suggested.

"Out? Like on a date?"

"A real one this time," Seulgi nodded. "Not just the stuff we normally do."

"That sounds—" Joohyun placed a gentle peck on Seulgi's cheek, "—amazing."

-

"Huh? You're both dressed?"

Seulgi turned around, holding a glass of water in one hand.

"Are you going somewhere with Joohyun-Unnie?" Sooyoung asked, opening the fridge.

"Yep."

"Really? Where?"

"I don't know. She just told me to get ready."

"Oh, okay," Sooyoung said, disinterested. She walked away with a cold bottle of juice.

As Seulgi set her water down, she wondered what it'd be like if the rest of the group knew. What would they think? Would they be mad? Other than the kissing, she and Joohyun didn't try to act much differently around the others. It was almost surprising no one had caught on yet, but then again, from the members' point of view, not much had changed since debut.

If only they knew what she and Joohyun did when they were alone.

Oh well.

Seulgi brushed the thought off. She wasn't ready to tell anyone, and Joohyun certainly wasn't either. Those worries would come when the time came.

Instead, Seulgi's mind wandered to a question that had been bugging her all morning—where was Joohyun taking her? She hadn't lied to Sooyoung. Despite being the one that brought up the idea of going out, Joohyun wanted to take matters into her own hands by planning the date.

At the time, Seulgi gladly gave Joohyun the lead. If she had known she'd be hearing the words 'you'll know when we get there' though, she would've been much less willing.

Reminiscent of the staff on 'Level up! Project," it was so excruciatingly ambiguous.

All Seulgi knew about the date was one, it would consist of two parts, and two, she was supposed to dress casually for the first.

So she did. Waiting for Joohyun in the kitchen, she wore a pair of blue wide-legged jeans, and a tight, black cardigan, its lowest buttons undone, exposing a little bit of her stomach. Her brown locks were down beneath her black bucket hat and she held a beige tote bag in the crease of her elbow. It was an outfit she’d put on any Spring day.

A few minutes later, Joohyun appeared, slipping her Chanel bag across her body. She was wearing her staple white blouse and straight blue jeans.

“Pretty,” Seulgi smiled. It was always her thing to call Joohyun pretty.

“What are you saying? I look like this every day...”

“Exactly.”

“Stop that,” Joohyun said with an annoyed smile. “Ready to go?”

-

"A movie."

"Nope." 

"The mall?"

"Why would I take you to the mall on our date?"

"Oh! I know. A newtro-style cafe."

"No."

"Unnie," Seulgi whined. Joohyun had been guiding her down an unfamiliar road for what seemed like forever. "Please tell me where we're going—"

"We're here."

"We are?"

Joohyun rotated Seulgi's shoulders toward the small building to their right.

A ceramics studio.

Seulgi's mouth widened into an 'O'. She should have known. She had recently gotten into the habit of watching pottery videos on YouTube, and Joohyun was the lucky one that had to listen to her passionate rambling about the newfound interest.

"I signed us up for a pottery class," Joohyun said. "What do you think?"

Seulgi wanted to kiss Joohyun right there, but knowing that wasn't really an option, she flashed the brightest smile she could instead. She then moved forward to open the glass door, letting Joohyun in first.

A man was waiting for them inside. "It's an honour to have you visit," he said after their hello's. "We're all big fans of Red Velvet here."

After Joohyun, Seulgi let out an appreciative "thank you." She found it kind of unfortunate the man knew of their identities. Not that she was upset or disappointed, it just meant she would have to be a little more cautious of what she said and what she did to Joohyun.

"You can leave your belongings in the room down that hall. There will be aprons for you to wear as well. Take your time. Once you're ready, we can get things started out here."

Following the man's directions, they made their way into the quaint room. Seulgi hung her tote bag up then threw the large, grey apron over her head, effortlessly tying it around her back.

"Yah, what's wrong with this?"

Seulgi turned to Joohyun, and instantly, she giggled. The apron was already big on her, but Joohyun looked like she was being swallowed whole, and the way she struggled to tie it around her waist made the scene all the more entertaining.

"Let me help you," Seulgi said, amused. She walked up behind Joohyun and looped the loose apron strings into a bow. Her hands lingered on the sides of Joohyun's hips. "There."

"Thanks." Joohyun whirled around, pulling her phone from her back pocket. "Let's take a picture."

"Oh! I almost forgot." Seulgi rushed to her tote bag and grabbed her film camera. She turned it on.

"You brought it?"

Seulgi nodded. "I wanted to take pictures like this." She moved beside Joohyun and pressed her lips to the older girl's cheek, capturing a quick selfie.

As soon as the shutter went off, Joohyun shoved Seulgi's shoulder.

"What?" Seulgi pouted.

"Nothing. You're cute."

With that, Seulgi and Joohyun returned to the main studio. The man, who was their instructor for the day, gave a brief rundown of the class, then they found their seats behind their designated pottery wheels.

It started off quiet as the instructor demonstrated how to work the wheel and handle the clay.

"Now that I've shown you how to make your bowls, go ahead it give it a try," he said.

Seulgi got to work right away. She carefully pressed her foot down on the pedal, letting the wheel spin up to speed. She then wet her hands and began shaping the clay.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Seulgi was a natural, in the zone, fully focused as she built up the sides of her bowl. 

Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Joohyun.

"Oh! Joohyun-ssi! Hold on a second!"

At the instructor's alarmed voice, Seulgi glanced to her right. The moment her eyes landed on Joohyun's workspace, her hands clapped together and her head fell back in laughter.

Joohyun's wheel was spinning at what must've been faster than a race car on its final lap, and the sides of her bowl had ripped apart, causing the clay to fling around in the air.

"What do I do!" Joohyun cried out in a panic.

"Unnie! Take your foot off the pedal first!"

As Joohyun's wheel came to a stop, the thin sheets of clay that had once been her bowl fell limp.

Seulgi's stomach was beginning to cramp up from laughter. She rinsed off her hands to grab her camera, then hurried to take a picture of Joohyun sitting defeated by her failed sculpture. She followed it up with a few snaps on her phone.

It was so hilarious, she wished Luvies could see it. Maybe she'd post it somewhere later, if Joohyun let her.

"Why don't we start over?" the instructor said, clearly trying to suppress his own amusement.

Seulgi then returned to her own bowl. Once she was satisfied with the outcome, she shuffled her seat beside Joohyun.

"You should've paid attention to the videos I showed you," she teased.

Joohyun glared at Seulgi. "It's harder than it looks, but I think I'm getting the hang of it." Her hand happened to slip right as she finished speaking, pushing the clay too far out on one side.

Seulgi chuckled. "Here," she said, reaching over to cup Joohyun's hands with her palms.

When she felt Joohyun tense up beneath her, she pulled away.

Right. The instructor.

"Uh—I guess you're right," she said, trying to play it off cool. "This one looks _a lot_ better than your first one."

Joohyun gave Seulgi a lighthearted nudge with her elbow.

Eventually, Joohyun completed her bowl and they moved onto their next round. This time, they were allowed to make anything they wanted. Seulgi chose to make a mug, like any normal person would, and Joohyun, in a very Joohyun-like fashion, chose to make a tall tube.

Seulgi narrowed her eyes. Joohyun's creation was so tall and skinny, it was tilting over in the middle. How it hadn't fallen over yet was baffling.

"Unnie, what the heck is that?"

"Uh... A vase, maybe?" Joohyun answered. "We could use a vase at home..."

"The stems would break once you put the flowers in."

"Yah! Don't slander my masterpiece. It's abstract."

Abstract.

Seulgi couldn't help but sit still, entranced by Joohyun as she worked on her 'masterpiece'.

It came as a surprise when they were starting to get close during their trainee periods. Seulgi never thought the quiet Unnie who walked around alone and who only seemed interested in practicing could be as mischievous and as playful as she was.

Joohyun was weird, in a good way. It was one of the reasons why Seulgi was so drawn to her in the first place.

Seulgi loved it when Joohyun would try to combat the group's teasing, when she would get overly-competitive over the smallest things, when she would play little jokes on others, and when she would do inexplicably odd things.

That was only one side of Joohyun though. Seulgi thought of her like a diamond. At first glance, you're amazed by its beauty and elegance, but only as you look further in, you discover it's made up of all these individual facets that are just as alluring as its entirety. 

Whether it was the loud and goofy Joohyun, the quiet and timid Joohyun, the scaredy-cat Joohyun, the care-taker Joohyun, or the strong leader Joohyun, it didn't matter.

Seulgi was in love with them all.

She turned back to her pottery wheel, carving a small 'J+S' into her mug.

-

A note and a plastic card.

After their early afternoon pottery escapade, they had sat down for a quick meal in a nearby cafe then returned to the dorm.

Seulgi knew there was more to come, but she hadn't expected Joohyun to leave the apartment only minutes after they stepped inside. All she was given was an envelope and a kiss goodbye.

Alone, Seulgi unfolded the note.

_Get ready for part two! Dress up nice. A car will be waiting outside at 7.  
All you need to bring is the card (and yourself :P)_  
_Only call me if it's an emergency! I will hang up if you ask me for details!!!  
<3_

A low chuckle escaped Seulgi's mouth. She then held up the card, examining it closely. Her lips spread into a curious smile.

It was a hotel key card.

-

"We've arrived. You're looking for the penthouse suite on floor sixty-two."

Seulgi's eyes shot open at the driver's words. First, it was a private pottery class. Then, it was a personal chauffeur. And now, it was a penthouse suite in one of Seoul's most high-class hotels?

Joohyun must've been insane.

"Thank you so much," Seulgi said, shuffling out of the car.

"Of course. Have a good evening."

"You too!"

Seulgi shut the car door and made her way into the hotel. Inside, she bee-lined straight for the elevators, all too excited to see what Joohyun had in store for the night, and to see Joohyun.

As the elevator doors closed, she pulled off her mask. Using the mirrored walls, she touched up her lip tint then smoothed out her outfit. She had gone for a simple, strappy black dress paired with some designer heels.

Truthfully, it was a last-resort look. Joohyun's message to 'dress up nice' was much too vague, and Seulgi had spent the last two hours before 7 frantically bulldozing through her closet. 

Soon, Seulgi found herself on the 62nd floor. As she made her way towards the grand two-door entrance, the butterflies in her stomach intensified. She felt like a kid about to walk into Disneyland for the first time, except, the happiest place on Earth wasn't Disneyland for her. It was next to Joohyun.

She retrieved the key card from her clutch and walked in.

Her jaw dropped.

It was huge, at least five times the size of Red Velvet's dorm. Modern, open-space, and again, huge. To her right was the living space, where a low sofa sat below a large flatscreen. To her left was the kitchen, which cleverly transformed into a private bar at one end. What amazed her most though, was what she saw in front if her—floor-to-ceiling windows spanning across the entire suite. 

Seulgi wasn't the type to crave luxury at all times, but she had to admit, this was _really_ nice.

Coming to her senses, her eyes darted around in need of guidance on what to do next. Finding no slippers nearby, she looked down at her feet.

"Keep them on."

Seulgi lifted her head. Her mouth instantly swelled into a smile as Joohyun strode towards her. It lingered as their lips met for a brief welcome kiss, and as they separated.

Joohyun moved to help Seulgi take off her coat. "You look beautiful."

"No, look at you," Seulgi replied, making no effort in hiding how she eyed the other girl, in her dainty, white knee-length dress and strappy heels, from head to toe.

Joohyun chuckled as she hung the coat up. "Come with me," she said, holding her palm out.

Seulgi gladly slid her hand into Joohyun's grasp. Her keen eyes glanced around the space as she trailed followed from behind.

They stopped in a dim room, secluded from the rest of the suite.

Seulgi's mouth hung open as it came into view—a charming round table, decorated with candles and flowers, already set with mouth-drooling steak dinners. Soft music was playing in the background, enhancing the romantic mood. The best part—the wall of windows neighbouring the dinner table. The sky, a deep indigo, was perfectly clear, allowing the view of the city's nightlife to shine through.

"When did you—how did you—"

"I had some help," Joohyun chuckled. "I know fancy stuff like this isn't really our style, but I thought we could try it out for fun. And doing it this way means there are no risks."

Seulgi smiled, but a part of her wished they could walk into a busy restaurant together, hand-in-hand, free of public scrutiny, or at least, free of the restrictions that came with their jobs. She wanted to flaunt to the world how someone as incredible as Joohyun was hers.

That would never happen though, so flaunting Joohyun as her group member would suffice, for now.

"Oh, wait a second."

"Huh?" Seulgi stood confused as Joohyun walked away, returning a few moments later.

"This is for you."

She curiously accepted the small Cartier box. Spotting an unfamiliar band on Joohyun's finger, she made her guess on what she would find inside. She quickly opened the box, unveiling a silver, diamond-encrusted ring that matched the one Joohyun wore.

She was right. Couple rings.

"Wow, it's beautiful," she said, breathless. She plucked it out of its holder and held it close, finding Joohyun's name engraved on the inside of the metal.

Joohyun took hold of the ring and slid it onto Seulgi's finger. "Mine says Seulgi."

"Unnie, you really didn't have to get me this."

"I know," Joohyun said, "but I've been doing some thinking lately."

"Thinking?"

Joohyun nodded. "Our comeback is soon... Things might get tough because we'll be busy, and we'll have to be extra careful from now on." She held onto Seulgi's hands with her own. "I wanted to get you something as a reminder that I'm always here, even if it doesn't feel like it. Whether we're Bae Joohyun and Kang Seulgi, or Red Velvet's Irene and Seulgi, I'm always here, as yours, okay?"

Seulgi's eyes glazed over with mist. She couldn't do anything else but lean in to capture Joohyun by the lips.

"Okay," she said, smiling out of the tender kiss.

Joohyun returned the smile. "Yah, don't cry. Come on. Let's eat before the food gets cold."

"I still can't believe you cooked all of this," Seulgi joked as the threat of her tears settled down, knowing very well Joohyun probably hadn't touched the food at all.

Joohyun sent a playful glare as she walked to her side of the table. "Sit down before I kick you out."

-

With plenty of pictures, comfortable conversation, laughter, and some wine—which Seulgi sipped on _very_ moderately, just in case—they finished their meals.

At some point, Seulgi noticed the pressed look on Joohyun's face.

"What's on your mind?" she asked.

"I'm still hungry."

"Still?" Seulgi asked, chuckling. Not what she expected to hear.

Joohyun frowned. "You are too, right? I should've had more food prepared for us."

"Unnie, it's okay." Seulgi definitely had room for more, but she was more than content with what she had eaten. "The food was amazing. We've been eating less for our comeback, anyway," she assured.

Joohyun shook her head, pursing her lips. "No. This is not okay."

-

Everything had already been perfect, but walking out of the convenience store with two fresh cups of ramen and a bag full of snacks somehow made their date even better.

While dinner had been great, moments like this, where she and her members shed their worries and simply messed around like kids, were some of Seulgi's favourites.

She still remembered the group's Christmas dinner back in 2018. She would never forget how her abs grew sore from laughter that night. No one knew why, but _everything_ was funny. Whatever the members said and whatever the members did. Even the way the food looked was funny.

She and Joohyun's trip to the convenience store was exactly like that. Maybe it started because they walked in wearing their long coats and fancy dresses with the pink animal sandals Joohyun had brought, but they just couldn't stop laughing. From the way Seulgi's broken chocolate bar flopped over, to the way the characters on the snack wrappers looked, everything was funny.

By the time they made it to the river, they had calmed down quite a bit. The sky had dimmed black, and the path along the river was barren, with only the occasional passerby making an appearance.

They settled themselves on a bench overlooking the tranquil river. It was a familiar bench—their favourite bench. 

"It kind of feels like we're trainees again," Joohyun said.

Seulgi scooped up the last bit of her noodles with her plastic fork. "It does. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

All of sudden, Joohyun giggled. "Do you still remember the first time I brought you here?"

"Oh my god," Seulgi said. "You lied to both me and the Supervisor-Unnie that we were going to work out. I was so scared someone would catch us when we ended up here."

"Yeah, but I know you liked it."

"I guess I did," Seulgi chuckled. Joohyun's timing had always been too perfect for it to be coincidental. It seemed like every time the pressure of training got to be a little overwhelming, Joohyun was taking her out on an adventure.

Of course she liked it. She blindly followed her every time.

"Are you done eating?" she asked.

Joohyun nodded.

Seulgi stood up from the bench. "Let's go on a walk then. Like old times."

The two disposed of their empty ramen cups then set off on a quiet stroll along the river. They walked side-by-side, Joohyun's arm linked around Seulgi's elbow, her head slightly nestled against the younger girl's shoulder.

It was peaceful. Comfortable despite no words being shared. Seulgi simply admired the night view as the subtle bristling of leaves and the soft whooshing of water saturated the silence.

Joohyun was the first to speak up.

"Seulgi-yah," she said, out of nowhere.

"Hm?" Seulgi twisted her neck to look at Joohyun.

"Thank you."

Seulgi's brows rose up.

Joohyun paused for a moment, keeping her eyes forward as they continued their easy pace down the path. "I don't think I said it enough when we were younger," she explained. "From the moment I arrived at the company until now, you were by my side. Even when I wasn't a good leader, or a good unnie to you, you were always there to keep me grounded. Thank you."

Hypnotized by Joohyun's side-profile as she spoke, an enamoured smile plastered itself on Seulgi's face. She could've said something back, but the park was far too empty and she didn't want to lose her chance. She stopped in her tracks, wrapping her free arm around Joohyun's waist to pull her in.

The kiss was gradual. They moved against each other's mouths deliberately, until their lips began to dance as if they had minds of their own. It grew passionate, breathless, and full of lust. At an entrance, Seulgi slid her tongue through Joohyun's parted lips, but she realized she probably shouldn't have when Joohyun pulled away, abruptly.

"I'm sorry," she said.

To her surprise, Joohyun didn't seem upset that she had kissed her in the open. Instead, the older girl was smiling, almost mischievously. 

"I think we should go back," Joohyun said, biting her lip.

Seulgi nodded, fast. "We really should."

-

Seulgi saw a fire ignite in Joohyun's eyes when they returned to the suite.

Immediately after they had put down their snacks, kicked off their sandals, and taken off their coats, Joohyun was pressed against Seulgi's frame, continuing the kiss they had put a stop to earlier.

Seulgi was burning all over as Joohyun's hands roamed the curves of her body. Their kisses were getting heated, sloppy and lazy, and so was Seulgi as she lost her footing and stumbled back.

Joohyun chuckled, out of breath. "Bed?"

"Please."

Joohyun dragged Seulgi by the hand as they stumbled across the living room, giggling. Seulgi was getting giddy, and very impatient. Apparently Joohyun was too, because the moment they made it beside the king-sized ked, she wasted no time in pulling Seulgi's dress over her head.

"You're so beautiful," Joohyun exhaled, placing sensuous kisses down Seulgi's neck.

Seulgi's hands moved up Joohyun's spine to the straps of her dress, tugging them down. She ogled as Joohyun stepped back and slid her dress to the ground.

Seulgi gulped, scouring the half-naked body before her. She then went in to get another taste of Joohyun's lips. In the midst of their passionate kisses, she reached around to unclip Joohyun's bra, pulling it off and tossing it aside.

As they broke apart, Joohyun laid back onto the mattress, guiding Seulgi by the hand.

Seulgi carefully climbed on top of her. Her legs straddled the older girl's lower half while her palms dug into the mattress, supporting her upper body as she hovered from above.

For a moment, she had to pause.

This wasn't a dream. It was really happening, and she was going to remember everything the next morning.

"Did you have fun today?" Joohyun asked.

Seulgi nodded gently. "I did." She moved a hand to the side of Joohyun's face, trailing her thumb across her cheek. "I love you," she breathed, completely infatuated. "I love you so much."

She was about to lean in, but Joohyun seemed too still beneath her. Her face shifted into worry. "Are you okay? We can slow down if we need to."

"No, it's not that."

"Are you su—"

"Seulgi. I'm more than okay," Joohyun said reassuringly. "It's just—you said it to me the first time. Exactly how you did now."

Seulgi's brows furrowed together for a second. Then, when she realized what Joohyun meant, her eyes grew wide.

She had told Joohyun she loved her that night—the night they had sex in the dorm, both drunk out of their minds.

"Oh my god, I did?"

Joohyun let out a breathy chuckle. "Yeah."

As the initial shock of her drunken bravery passed, Seulgi's mouth curled into a smile. She had tried so hard to block out the thought of that night after it happened, but now, it didn't seem so bad.

"You should know," she said, locking onto Joohyun's eyes with her own, "I meant it just as much then as I do now."

"I know. That's why I said it back."

Joohyun placed her hand on the back of Seulgi's neck, pulling her down.

"I love you too."

-

Man, was Seulgi sure of it.

A decade was _completely_ worth the wait.


End file.
